True Beauty

The beauty of a man transformed.

Transforming....daily.

A gift....difficult to open.

Mine.

So undeserving...

And I can't believe how

much He loves me.

Glenn too.

Love Beyond.

As I watched and waited alongside a dear friend as she struggled to fight a battle bigger than herself, I am thankful to God for the strength He had given her to push through and do the only thing a mother can do;

Love beyond all that you ever thought you could.

These are her words, penned to give perspective during a difficult transitory time.
Her poetry became her prayer, and may God continue to listen.

Listen;

The devil surprised me when he came to my house
I had never seen him before
I didn't even recognize who he was
As he casually strolled through my door

I felt overwhelmed by such a darkness
As he carefully settled in
I prayed that he would leave
He just stared with a sickly grin

His eyes roamed around the room
He said, it is my son he is here to see
I struggled to push him out the door
But he was so much stronger than me

I watched as he walked up the stairs
And moved right on in
I had lost all control
The devil was here to win

He masked himself so cleverly
To take away all my son's sorrow
Then leaned in close to his ear
And whispered "I'll be back tomorrow"

With all the love that I have
With every bit of my soul
I kept fighting and fighting and trying
As I watched him reach his goal

I witnessed the transformation
Trying to reason through my tears
My words were simply not enough
The devil had given him deaf ears

What a powerful darkness
Able to win over my son
He created a liar an addict a stranger
Then smiled, his job here was done

He just walked right out of my house
He played his twisted game
There is now someone else to visit
He is anxious to start again

I'm left with a hallow emptiness
As I look into my son's eyes
I see his silent torture
His life had become a string of lies

I gathered every bit of strength I had
And sent my love away
To get him the help he needed
While I waited helplessly every day

They have armed my boy with tools
And sent him back to me
Going forward the decisions are his
Choosing the life he wants it to be

I have such an underlying fear
But I have faith my son can win
If the devil should ever knock at the door
Please my love, find the strength to never let him in.

Special Delivery.

They weren't the tears of a child trying to manipulate a toy into their possession, there was no jumping up and down in disobedience or screaming of life's unfairness. There were just swollen droplets of heart driven love falling onto her cheeks that made my own heart break in two very different ways. One, for the pain she was feeling as she knew she had to give the "Walmart" baby back to the lady, and secondly, out of the gratitude I had to God for giving her a heart that loves so deeply.
As we walked back to the truck, with groceries in tow, I leaned into my beauty and told her how precious she was for loving that little baby so, and that one day she's going to be a wonderful Mommy.


The tears still fell.
And then God walked in.






Uggh, I had left something at Walmart...
I had to go back.....

I knew, at the store initially, I couldn't give into Maysie's tears of desire and buy the baby, no matter how much I wanted too. But, I could go back and retrieve her from the lady who "informed" me that the baby had cried all day without Maysie. So I did just that, and as I returned home from my mission, I listened to Maysie tell Glenn (in one long run on sentence) the story of her baby, and how she "loved her and missed her and I was so happy... but she was a "Walmart" baby and had to stay with the lady" .....tear.









And then God delivered.

The Wind.

The sun is casting different shadows on our property and I know that sleep is coming. It's a slumber that I so look forward to, as the bustle of summer begins to rest under the blanket of much needed routine.
The beauty of fall takes on so many changing characteristics, and the one that clings to my heart the deepest is the one I watch walk out my front door .
As Calvin, with backpack in place, breaks free of my hugs and kisses, I admire as he eagerly pulls at Glenn's hand to drive him to Grade One. He is so ready and i am so.....not. I'm not ready to give him over to full time everyday early mornings no lounging in our jammies until noon kinda days. I'm not ready to watch him spend more time away from me than with me. He's mine...I had him first, I think to myself as I bite back my tears of fear and loss. And then, like a leaf falling from high, floating on the wind, You whisper ever so softly and I am given over to my only option at that point.....the promise of prayer.

"God go before my treasure that is ultimately yours. Protect him and keep him close to your gentle guiding hand. Cultivate the beginnings of Godly, influential friendships and mentors. Show him that his uniqueness is a gift of love only from you as you continue to instill in him his strong desire to work hard and do well.

Speak softly to his tender heart Lord....I know he is listening."